Oneshots
by dreamingofsunshine
Summary: See the title, it tells you pretty much what you need to know.
1. Countdown

**AN: I did something similar to this for my NCIS one-shots - basically I will put any one-shots I for AGATB on here. Some of these I have submitted before, just in case anyone notices (:**

They were there. Always watching. Always waiting. They mocked her and watched her and waited. They watched as she cut and ravaged and slowly went crazy. They waited as the blood dripped down on the floor, counting down, ...10...9...8...

They were always there.

They watched as she broke, herself and himself and their self and itself. They waited as the blood dripped down the walls, counting down, ...7...6...5...

They were always there.

They watched as she lost herself in memories and gifts and half-forgotten places. They waited as the blood dripped down the stairs, counting down, ...4...3...2...

They were always there.

They watched as the memories filled her up so that she was not empty anymore, she was not there, gone, lost. They waited as blood dripped down her clothes, counting down, ...1...GO.

They pounced on her, ripped her apart, until all that was left of her were the tears, the knives and the blood stains, slowly congealing on the floor, the walls, the stairs, her empty clothes, the memories.


	2. This is me

I look for him still. Every day I wake up and walk over to the window overlooking the yard. I listen for his tuneful whistling, I wait for his wave as he sees me watching him.

I long for his dark skin, an island of colour in all this pale white snow. For me it was always a reminder of home, India, childhood. In that way he reminded me of my mother.

He was also just him. The most magical thing of all.

I stand at the window a while, looking out on the dark yard with the sun just rising over the rooftops, remembering his shadow and that flash of white teeth. Even after I remember where he is, why he is not here with me, I stay, tears trickling down my face.

I am but another snowflake with no earth to fall onto, no-one to catch me. I am spiralling downwards, occasionally an eddy carries me up so that I may see again how much I have lost, how far I have fallen, after that I fall all the faster.

I am dissolving though, melting in my own tears so that I am but a shadow, a pale reflection of what I once was. Soon I know I will be nothing but I drop of water falling down into a dark abyss.

Occasionally I wonder if he is down there, waiting for me still. I hope not. I would not want him to see me like this. I am nothing now. I am not even sure he would recognise me. Maybe it would be better if he did not.

When I look in the mirror, I barely recognise myself. I am just a wraith without his sun to warm me. I am thin now. So thin I am barely there. Often when I walk down the cold winter streets I feel as though I will blow over, just a storm-tossed snow maiden lost to the winds of time.

My hair has lost its colour, it is just a mop of white upon my pale face. My eyes too have faded, my focus lost to the memories that torment and hold me. Keep me frozen. I am no longer my mother's child. I have lost myself. I am alone in a world where there is no longer a sun, no longer meaning or colour.

I am barely twenty yet I may as well be eighty.

I look older than my own father.

They tell this is stupid, I tell myself this is stupid. I cannot stop. He brought me to life and now I am frozen.

I try to bring his image to my mind one last time, the feel of that first forbidden kiss in the woods. It is not there. My eyes focus on the ceiling above. I am finally gone, floating on a cloud, alive and breathing, a snowflake no longer, free from memories of him.

He is there. A sun, holding me.

Memories are nothing to this. I open my eyes, green and vivacious. What a waste.

The bath slowly turns red as my life drains out through the slashes on my wrists. I am gone. Water vapour, floating, free. As close to the sun as I can go without getting burned.

This is me.

That was me, down there, a pale ghost in a bath of my own blood.


	3. Forever

Forever me and forever you and forever the 'and' in between them.

Forever we will be separated by that word, never quite one in our eyes or anyone else's.

Like a reflection that can never truly be joined to you because the glass is in the way.

Like the shadow that is joined to you by the feet but nothing else.

_

Forever we shall be holding hands, held together by those fragile bonds of our fingers, by that hastily spoken 'and'.

Forever we shall be wondering when those fingers shall slip, when that mirror shall shatter, when that 'and' will break.

Forever we will be alone, for forever we will be together, pretending to be one and never quite making it.

_

Forever we shall remain just us, frailly, beautifully, human and imperfect.


End file.
